Just call me Hunchback...

My pelvis has given up the ghost.
It literally has turned around, and said 'you know what? you were the one who fell pregnant again despite the issues we had last pregnancy, and I'm fed up with being the only one working in this relationship.'
And I'm the one left to pick up the pieces. Or not, as the case may be.

I have constant, unrelenting pain in the bottom of my back, whether I'm sitting, standing or lying down. 95% of the time this pain also travels down my right leg every few seconds if there's any weight on my leg, meaning I walk with a limp and have to sit on one ass cheek. If I've been sitting down for a while and have to get up to walk, I look like a 90 year old as I can't fully straighten up and the limp is even worse.
I also have intermittant searing pain through my pubic bone which feels like someone is poking a hot needle through it. The more I walk, the worse the limp gets. If I go to baby group in the mornings, my limp is not too bad. If I also need to run errands in the afternoon, by the time it's that time when BB needs putting to bed, I look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and I can't lift him without being in agony.

Now I have good days. Days when I can get everything done and at nighttime I am still mobile enough and in a reasonable amount of pain. By they are becoming few and far between.
My ten and a half hour shifts, of which I have to walk a lot and be on my feet, are becoming impossible. Three times I've had to leave early because the pain gets so intense I want to vomit, or I simply can't move. I went to my GP, who referred me for physio but I need him to sign me onto light duties and he won't. He's saying I need to keep active or it will get worse.
Er, yeah. I've got a fourteen month old too? He keeps me active enough.
So I go to my manager who offers four short shifts rather than three long ones. I can't do that because of childcare.
So she offers for me not to do late shifts. You think I want to work until 10pm? Those I also do because of childcare.
I tell her I need to do a job where I'm not on my feet all day...

And she tells me I need a letter from my GP.

Kill me now...

13 Months on....

Baby Bear is growing up. *Cue welling eyes and wobbly voice*

I say this watching him climb onto my sofa, throw off alll off the pillows into a pile on the floor, stand up... and catapult himself onto the pillows before giggling for about ten minutes. He walks, runs, chatters endlessly and is very clear about what he wants.
For example....

The other morning I am roused from my bed by a chant of 'mum? mama? mama?' I open the door to his bedroom and am greeting with a great beaming smile to the chorus of 'peepo!' So he puts his arms up to be lifted out of the cot, and I stand him in the floor. He looks around for a second, before pointed to a stray dummy on the floor. 'doo-doo?' I pass it to him and he takes it happily, holding it in one hand. 'teddy?' teddy is also passed over. 'ta.' He grins, before walking off into the living room.

Oh dear. I think I have a bossy one.

He's just an absolute riot to watch! If he falls (which he does regularly) providing he hasn't hurt himself, it is followed by a shout of 'up!' If you ask if he is hungry, he shouts yes! before leading you to the kitchen. he also lifts my top, strokes my growing belly and says 'ahh, baby'.

However...
His tastes change daily. One day he will eat grapes, the next they are sucked quickly before throwing them on the floor. He loses interest in toast at least once a week. He refuses any sort of dried fruit (unless yoghurt or chocolate coated) he will eat weetabix but not porridge unless there is fruit and honey in it. And he very clearly tells me the word 'no' if he doesn't want to eat it.

Telling him no can result in meltdowns of fake crying, laying on the floor or stamping his feet. Pulling him away from something dangerous is like telling him the worold is ending. And taking the piece of fluffy toast out of his mouth that he'd found behind the highchair is like slapping him around the face.
He does know if he's eating somethign he shouldn't, as if i hold out my hand he will spit it out. Also, if he picks up somethign naughty, like my phone or the stones out of my fake fireplace, he runs over giggling to give them to me.

I look forward to watching him grow!
xxx

Had my 20 week scan - I'm Team.....

Blue!!!!!!!

Haha, I knew it! Baby is perfect, absolutely on cloud 9. He's still lazy, was sat with his feet on top to his head (The exact same position Baby Bear was in at his 20 week scan), having a snooze. He woke up after being poked at, all of his organs were fine, spine was lovely, then he uncurled from his ball, had a stretch and she zoomed in on his face so I could see him having a drink!! It was amazing. She then moved around to the bottom half, where his bits were very clearly displayed on the screen...

Sonographer: There it is!
Me: Oh wow!
Daddy Bear: What is it? Is it a boy?
Sonographer: ... Yes.
DB: Where's his willy?
Sonographer: (Pointing) Leg, leg, testicle, testicle, penis.
DB: Oh yeah.
Nanny Bear: How the hell did you miss that?

But once DB finally spotted the penis that was on show, right in the middle of the screen, he was beaming.
We are both so excited!

I must say though, a large amount of people have asked me if I'm disappointed, or am going to try again for a girl... No. I'm happy with my boys :)

My little Baby Bear is so loving, and independant and playful. He loves being thrown about and tickled and playing rough. He is a bit mad, he will quite happily run around the house at full speed holding a car like its the best thing in the world. He will run away if he sees you get a nappy. But he's the same boy who climbs onto my lap with a book for a cuddle, and kisses me until I'm covered in dribble, and feeds me bits of half chewed food with love.

On cloud 9
xxx

I'm so having another boy...

I don't mind what I have to be honest. I'd love to have one of each, but another boy will be just as much fun.

But I know of know I'm having another boy. I can feel it. This pregnancy is like groundhog day.

Symptoms from last time I have again?
*No morning sickness
*Zero first tri symtoms other than sore boobies
*Low bump
*Craving for ice cubes
*Loving the taste of water
*Being so obsessed with the smell of my clean washing I want to roll in the damp yumminess
*Sucking flannels

I think there was more. But could my pregnancy be any more identical to the last? Seriously?
Hopefully my bullying of Daddy Bear will convince him we need to know next week at my scan as he currently doesn't want to know. Because he 'knows' it's another boy. Apparently, he's such a man, he can only make men...

If I'm having a girl I will eat my words...

The Very Hungry First Birthday Party

So, on the 30th of March, my beautiful boy turned one.

I'd spent two whole days and a ridiculous amount of money making his cake.

Countless hours making food, searching the internet for ideas for presents and party ideas.

And lost hours of sleep thinking about the big day.

I know he won't remember. And I know he didn't have a clue what was going on. But I had a good day!

He woke up to a small pile of presents in a ball pit, which he proceeded to throw out and bury himself in the balls, and got very excited. He then ran around like a loon before collapsing with Daddy Bear in front of Peppa Pig. Then, I went off to Nanny Bear's, where I was holding his party as my house is tiny, and made lots of party food which was placed around The Cake.

The Cake was made with my own blood sweat and tears. It was a two-tiered affair, with white fondant icing and a Very Hungry Caterpillar wiggling around the outside. And I must say, I am very proud of my efforts. But I am not making another cake as long as I live. Bloody thing.

Then the famiyl arrived. And I was thrown so many presents I have no idea what came from whom... and then Lucas started to cry. he threw his milk on the floor, refused all food he was given and wouldn't let anybody hold him. Anybody else thinking naptime for the birthday boy?

Anyway, after a nap he blew out his candles (or I did) and people started leaving.

It went so fast I almost regretted spending that much time on it! But he had a lovely day and conked out for about 14 hours straight that night!

Lady with a Baby

Okay, so after my freak-out that there was no baby...

There is a baby! Due to arrive on the 12th of September 2012, making me 13+2 today. My little bean was fast asleep, upside down, an angel whilst the sonographer measured everything, had a little wiggle and turned the right way up, kicking legs a little before going back to sleep. I'm so happy to know everything is okay!

Just a little disappointed that the sonographer only gave me two pictures and made no effort to make them clear just two blurry pics and sent me on my way... I got five lovely ones last time!

Anyway, should be working so shall carry on haha
xxx

Okay, so you probably think my mother murdered me...

Sorry guys, sleeping constantly means not a lot of time for blogging! I think DB is a bit fed up with me going to bed at 9 by the latest. Napping with BB does makes the days more bearable, but working until 10pm three days a week is killing me. I'm a zombie by 8 o'clock and I tend to stare at the computer screen aimlessly until somebody notices I'm not actually working....

So, my mother didn't murder me. In fact, she wasn't to bad at all! Took her a feww days to get her head around it, but she took us double pram shopping yesterday. I've had my heart set on the iCandy Peach Blossom for a few weeks, but DB wanted to see it before we made a decision. We got to the pram shop, and the sales assistant took one look at the size of BB and said it wasn't a good idea. He's a big tall baby, and the Peach Blossom seats are fairly small. My mum didn't like one baby being under the other either. Looking at my downcast face, the sales assistant said their other branch specialised in doubles. So off we went, and wondered around the other shop. I liked the Baby Jogger City Select, DB didn't. I liked the Phil & Teds Promenade, DB said it was to bulky. I'd just about given up when the lady asked if I wanted to see the Bugaboo room. Surprisingly, DB said yes. And there it was. The Bugaboo donkey. All shiny and new. I kept quiet, and let the lady answer all of DB's questions, and demonstrate the millions of things it did (she must have wanted to kill us) and DB looked very excited. He pushed it around, put BB in it and then looked to me. I knew I'd gotten my way.
We're going to put a deposit on it on payday. I want it now :(

And even better news...

Baby Bear took his first steps yesterday!!!!!!!!
He was pestering DB for a bit of his sandwich, heard me open my milkybar and took four steps over to get a bit! Of course I let him have some then!!!!! Only my son would walk for chocolate. I was a sap as well, I cried. I blame it on hormones....

My scan is on Friday. I'm slightly apprehensive, have managed to convince myself there's no baby in there. I am just excited to hear that my baby is healthy, so I can stopped worrying.

Very happy Mummy Bear
xxx