I'm having one of THOSE mornings.
Where they both woke for no reason at 6.20am (I knew staying up and watching Grey's Anatomy until midnight was a bad idea. McDreamy I blame you.
This was after three wake ups in the night from small and one from big. Which woke small.
We got downstairs, and the moaning begins. Because they are tired. Maybe you should have stayed asleep then boys...
I fob them off with a cereal bar and orange juice so I can drink my coffee in peace. This lasts all of 90 seconds before again, the whining starts.
Cold coffee, yet again.
So I get them some breakfast, and put a load of washing on whilst they are eating.
Time to get dressed. Then realise I meant to put their pjs in the wash I'd already started. Balls.
Go into the kitchen to see if I can stop it and chuck their clothes in. No. Sigh.
Run upstairs to put them in wash basket. Come back down to find two soaked children who thought playing with juice was hilarious.
Back upstairs for clean clothes. More additions to the wash basket.
Small bumps his head. Lots of tears. Third bump in as many days, fabulous.
Now I'm writing this post whilst they are flopping all over me, moaning.
Is it bedtime yet?
Or at least time for wine?!
Expecting You
I am a full-time working mummy Bear to two little Bears, I juggle motherhood, running a home and working in a busy lab, not always particularly well but we muddle through! I'm fighting post-natal depression, a Bear in the terrible twos and another with the worst sleeping pattern ever. My household isn't perfect, it's loud, and sometimes messy and I'm really quite disorganized, , but I wouldn't change my Bears for the world!
Monday, 30 December 2013
Tuesday, 17 December 2013
Christmas saga pt 1
So, I was stupid enough to have all these plans for Christmas.
Plans that involved craftiness, planning and organisation... I have failed.
Plan: make handmade christmas decorations with the boys.
Reality: two small bears who decided it was more fun to paint themselves than the paper. Salt dough decorations that still haven't quite gone hard, except the bits that got onto my sideboard and set lot concrete. We had more plans but my blood pressure wouldnt allow it and I decided to leave the crafts to nursery...
Plan: make Christmas gifts, I made Pinterest boards months ago, decided on fabrics, picked out patterns to make people lovely homemade presents.
Reality: smallest bear was the main flaw in this plan. I can't sew during the day as he is currently going through the limpet phase and screams if he does not have my full attention and is not being held. Also, he is a light sleeper (understatement- a mouse fart would wake that child) and my beastly old sewing machine sounds like a machine gun. Therefore, Christmas gifts would have to be bought.
Plan: after I realise the 15 month old flaw in my last plan, I decided to be organised and plan all of my christmas shopping. Clearly I hadn't learnt my lesson yet.
Reality: I don't know if you've been shopping with an almost 3 year old and a 15 month old. Particularly ones that hate shopping... It's enough to make a nun swear. 1st shopping outing, I bought 1 present and then spent 20 minutes chasing my screaming child around Boots with my other child wailing in the sling. The second attempt was slightly more fruitful, I managed to get them in a trolley, so no escaping, and got quite a bit. Until they irritated each other and began biting, pinching and hitting each other. I managed to distract them with food until we got to the tills and they screamed like banshees.
Now I've done 90% of my shopping online. I can't take one more failed outing. Also, it can be done during night feeds. Also I don't have to get anybody dressed/ bum changed/ out of the house. Bonus.
Next year, when I start pinning handprint Santa's, patterns for crayon rolls and recipes for Christmas cookies, bring me back here.
Plans that involved craftiness, planning and organisation... I have failed.
Plan: make handmade christmas decorations with the boys.
Reality: two small bears who decided it was more fun to paint themselves than the paper. Salt dough decorations that still haven't quite gone hard, except the bits that got onto my sideboard and set lot concrete. We had more plans but my blood pressure wouldnt allow it and I decided to leave the crafts to nursery...
Plan: make Christmas gifts, I made Pinterest boards months ago, decided on fabrics, picked out patterns to make people lovely homemade presents.
Reality: smallest bear was the main flaw in this plan. I can't sew during the day as he is currently going through the limpet phase and screams if he does not have my full attention and is not being held. Also, he is a light sleeper (understatement- a mouse fart would wake that child) and my beastly old sewing machine sounds like a machine gun. Therefore, Christmas gifts would have to be bought.
Plan: after I realise the 15 month old flaw in my last plan, I decided to be organised and plan all of my christmas shopping. Clearly I hadn't learnt my lesson yet.
Reality: I don't know if you've been shopping with an almost 3 year old and a 15 month old. Particularly ones that hate shopping... It's enough to make a nun swear. 1st shopping outing, I bought 1 present and then spent 20 minutes chasing my screaming child around Boots with my other child wailing in the sling. The second attempt was slightly more fruitful, I managed to get them in a trolley, so no escaping, and got quite a bit. Until they irritated each other and began biting, pinching and hitting each other. I managed to distract them with food until we got to the tills and they screamed like banshees.
Now I've done 90% of my shopping online. I can't take one more failed outing. Also, it can be done during night feeds. Also I don't have to get anybody dressed/ bum changed/ out of the house. Bonus.
Next year, when I start pinning handprint Santa's, patterns for crayon rolls and recipes for Christmas cookies, bring me back here.
Monday, 11 November 2013
This feels like the end...
So, parenting is one of those things where you can make all these intricate plans, thinking you've thought of every possible curveball your kiddies might throw.
But if you're already a parent, you'll know it doesn't work that way.
Plan:
Breastfeed Jacob for 1 year.
Reality:
Get to 6 months, consider stopping because he still feeds like a newborn, figure it must get better, realize it doesn't, get to 12 months and plan to stop but SB decides he likes feeding and isn't going to stop without a fight any time soon. Sigh.
Plan:
Not have to move out of my two bedroom house, because youngest can be in with me for the first 6 months/until he sleeps through then go in with his brother.
Reality
End up hating said 2 bedroom house, baby still co-sleeping 14 months later, DB sleeping on the sofa most nights so he doesn't have to share a bed with the snoring fidgeting small person, who feeds constantly through the night and refuses to take a bottle to make it a bit easier on his poor mummy.
Plan:
Slowly wean baby off of the boob one feed at a time, until he gives up by himself
Reality:
Pah! SB cries for a feed when he's tired, grumpy, bored, if I'm getting changed and he sees them, if he has a cuddle and his mouth happens to be close to them, if I'm not paying attention to him.... The list goes on. He feeds whether he's hungry or not. He constantly pulls at my top or places my hand on my chest as a sign he wants feeding. He bites, pulls me around, flips about. I wanted to give up two months ago and I'm sad our journey isn't ending nicely. I currently can only feed him off of one boob as all the biting and pulling has torn my left nipple, and every time it dies out and starts to heal I forget, feed him and it all opens up again. ouch.
SB rules the roost. I'm tired. I miss having my hubby in my bed, and not having a toddler attached to my nipple for 3/4 of the night. I'm fed up with having people tell me he shouldn't still be feeding/waking up in the night etc etc.
I'm going to try night weaning, as this is my biggest issue. wish me luck
But if you're already a parent, you'll know it doesn't work that way.
Plan:
Breastfeed Jacob for 1 year.
Reality:
Get to 6 months, consider stopping because he still feeds like a newborn, figure it must get better, realize it doesn't, get to 12 months and plan to stop but SB decides he likes feeding and isn't going to stop without a fight any time soon. Sigh.
Plan:
Not have to move out of my two bedroom house, because youngest can be in with me for the first 6 months/until he sleeps through then go in with his brother.
Reality
End up hating said 2 bedroom house, baby still co-sleeping 14 months later, DB sleeping on the sofa most nights so he doesn't have to share a bed with the snoring fidgeting small person, who feeds constantly through the night and refuses to take a bottle to make it a bit easier on his poor mummy.
Plan:
Slowly wean baby off of the boob one feed at a time, until he gives up by himself
Reality:
Pah! SB cries for a feed when he's tired, grumpy, bored, if I'm getting changed and he sees them, if he has a cuddle and his mouth happens to be close to them, if I'm not paying attention to him.... The list goes on. He feeds whether he's hungry or not. He constantly pulls at my top or places my hand on my chest as a sign he wants feeding. He bites, pulls me around, flips about. I wanted to give up two months ago and I'm sad our journey isn't ending nicely. I currently can only feed him off of one boob as all the biting and pulling has torn my left nipple, and every time it dies out and starts to heal I forget, feed him and it all opens up again. ouch.
SB rules the roost. I'm tired. I miss having my hubby in my bed, and not having a toddler attached to my nipple for 3/4 of the night. I'm fed up with having people tell me he shouldn't still be feeding/waking up in the night etc etc.
I'm going to try night weaning, as this is my biggest issue. wish me luck
Autumn Update
Soo, I've been the world's laziest blogger. Bad mummy bear.
But let me update you on what's going on here - are you ready for this?
September
So this was a busy month. Squishy Bear, well, Not-so-Squishy Bear, turned one. I was lazy and didn't make a cake, but we had a lovely (hectic) family gathering that made me realise as much as I love my family the next birthday party will be in soft play or a hall. I can't handle having control of that many people at once! Running around making sure people had drinks and the kids weren't bored and that the conversation flowed and certain family members didn't sit next to other certain family members. I felt like I needed a bloody valium when everybody had gone home. Plus my two boys got stupidly excited that everybody was here, and there were presents everywhere... Needless to say when they left I put the two very overtired toddlers to bed and had a big fat glass of wine.
And who was it that said the tantrums started at 2? because Jacob wasn't listening. He has an awful temper. I'm talking diva-like on a Mariah Carey scale - throw myself on the floor, banging head, pinching, screeching diva, for taking away the potentially dangerous item he found/picking him up when he tried to bolt up the stairs/stopping him from falling/because I picked his brother up first instead of him... He's very laid back, affectionate, intelligent... but my god you will hear about it if you do something he doesn't like!
He started walking, after 6 months of cruising around the furniture and me encouraging him to let go, he got up and took some steps and that was it. He was walking. Within days he was barely crawling at all. Now he runs. Fast.
We've had a few words too!
-mumma
-daddy
-'dews' (juice)
- 'Bo' (ball)
- 'Dadas' (Thomas Tank)
- Peppa
- Nana
- Pappy
Very very cute. What's even more cute is him babbling wordlessly at BB and BB responding to him and chattering back.
'Yes, let's go get mumma. Do you want to hold my hand? No. Mummy, he wants a biscuit.'
October
After months of Lucas being dry during the day, and still battling with him over poos, we took him to the doctor. I wasn't sure if we would have a battle about me wanting him treated for constipation but he took me very seriously. I described BB's 'poo run' (running around the room, very flustered, holding his bottom, in tip-toes with straight legs and an arched back), and apparently this isn't just BB being odd, it's a classic sign of constipation. BB's issue is that despite the fact he is desperate to go, he will hold it and hold it until he has this enormously swollen, sore tummy that he can't bear for me to touch and when he finally does go (in a nappy, he's terrified of doing it anywhere else) it's so huge that it hurts him, which obviously sets off the whole cycle again. So I've started him on lactulose today, in the hope if I can get him going regularly and painlessly, he will stop being so frightened of going and do it on the toilet or potty.
Anyway. Enough poo talk.
That brings you up to speed on the Bear household!
xxx
But let me update you on what's going on here - are you ready for this?
September
So this was a busy month. Squishy Bear, well, Not-so-Squishy Bear, turned one. I was lazy and didn't make a cake, but we had a lovely (hectic) family gathering that made me realise as much as I love my family the next birthday party will be in soft play or a hall. I can't handle having control of that many people at once! Running around making sure people had drinks and the kids weren't bored and that the conversation flowed and certain family members didn't sit next to other certain family members. I felt like I needed a bloody valium when everybody had gone home. Plus my two boys got stupidly excited that everybody was here, and there were presents everywhere... Needless to say when they left I put the two very overtired toddlers to bed and had a big fat glass of wine.
And who was it that said the tantrums started at 2? because Jacob wasn't listening. He has an awful temper. I'm talking diva-like on a Mariah Carey scale - throw myself on the floor, banging head, pinching, screeching diva, for taking away the potentially dangerous item he found/picking him up when he tried to bolt up the stairs/stopping him from falling/because I picked his brother up first instead of him... He's very laid back, affectionate, intelligent... but my god you will hear about it if you do something he doesn't like!
He started walking, after 6 months of cruising around the furniture and me encouraging him to let go, he got up and took some steps and that was it. He was walking. Within days he was barely crawling at all. Now he runs. Fast.
We've had a few words too!
-mumma
-daddy
-'dews' (juice)
- 'Bo' (ball)
- 'Dadas' (Thomas Tank)
- Peppa
- Nana
- Pappy
Very very cute. What's even more cute is him babbling wordlessly at BB and BB responding to him and chattering back.
'Yes, let's go get mumma. Do you want to hold my hand? No. Mummy, he wants a biscuit.'
October
After months of Lucas being dry during the day, and still battling with him over poos, we took him to the doctor. I wasn't sure if we would have a battle about me wanting him treated for constipation but he took me very seriously. I described BB's 'poo run' (running around the room, very flustered, holding his bottom, in tip-toes with straight legs and an arched back), and apparently this isn't just BB being odd, it's a classic sign of constipation. BB's issue is that despite the fact he is desperate to go, he will hold it and hold it until he has this enormously swollen, sore tummy that he can't bear for me to touch and when he finally does go (in a nappy, he's terrified of doing it anywhere else) it's so huge that it hurts him, which obviously sets off the whole cycle again. So I've started him on lactulose today, in the hope if I can get him going regularly and painlessly, he will stop being so frightened of going and do it on the toilet or potty.
Anyway. Enough poo talk.
That brings you up to speed on the Bear household!
xxx
Friday, 30 August 2013
Rumparooz One Size Pocket Review
A one size pocket nappy with two microfiber inserts, I only have one of these but they're super cute!
Fit 3/5
I find these nappies come up very small. I cannot get one around BB's waist, well I possibly could squeeze him into one but the rise is incredibly low. Even on SB, he wear them with the rise fully unpoppered, whereas other one size poppers he tends to be on the middle or even smallest rise settings. They're great around his tiny waist though, and fit his chubby thighs too. There's no hip snaps on these though so if they aren't in the right place (which is frequently on my super wriggly baby) we can get a bit of wing droop.
Absorbency 4/5
Although they have a microfiber inner, they are surprisingly thirsty. The two inserts are adjustable depending on which rise setting you have them on, and snap together too. They have 5 layers of microfiber which makes them quite thick and chunky compared to other microfiber inserts I have. They last about 3 hours, 4 sometimes! When I adjust the rise poppers on the inserts I do pop the bulky bit at the back or it really gapes around his tummy.
Containment 5/5
These nappies have a different sort of double gusset to most of the other I have, The fleece inside is gathered to make a gusset, and it is great for poo-catching.
Ease of use 4/5
Once you get your head around the multiple poppers on the inserts, these are a nice simple pocket nappy to use. Once stuffed, they're nice and easy nursery nappies.
Drying time 4/5
The microfiber inserts are slightly thicker than others, still quick drying but a little slower than some of our others.
Overall 4/5
These are brilliant nappies for smaller babies. They really contour to tiny bottoms and the double gusset is fantastic for runny breastfed poo. The fleecy inner is lovely and thick, and the inserts are quite thirsty, plus it comes in cute patterns!
Fit 3/5
I find these nappies come up very small. I cannot get one around BB's waist, well I possibly could squeeze him into one but the rise is incredibly low. Even on SB, he wear them with the rise fully unpoppered, whereas other one size poppers he tends to be on the middle or even smallest rise settings. They're great around his tiny waist though, and fit his chubby thighs too. There's no hip snaps on these though so if they aren't in the right place (which is frequently on my super wriggly baby) we can get a bit of wing droop.
Absorbency 4/5
Although they have a microfiber inner, they are surprisingly thirsty. The two inserts are adjustable depending on which rise setting you have them on, and snap together too. They have 5 layers of microfiber which makes them quite thick and chunky compared to other microfiber inserts I have. They last about 3 hours, 4 sometimes! When I adjust the rise poppers on the inserts I do pop the bulky bit at the back or it really gapes around his tummy.
Containment 5/5
These nappies have a different sort of double gusset to most of the other I have, The fleece inside is gathered to make a gusset, and it is great for poo-catching.
Ease of use 4/5
Once you get your head around the multiple poppers on the inserts, these are a nice simple pocket nappy to use. Once stuffed, they're nice and easy nursery nappies.
Drying time 4/5
The microfiber inserts are slightly thicker than others, still quick drying but a little slower than some of our others.
Overall 4/5
These are brilliant nappies for smaller babies. They really contour to tiny bottoms and the double gusset is fantastic for runny breastfed poo. The fleecy inner is lovely and thick, and the inserts are quite thirsty, plus it comes in cute patterns!
Thursday, 29 August 2013
To Have You In My Arms
To have you in my arms,
Against my beating heart,
Where I can keep you safe from harm,
And hold you safely here.
Your skin against mine,
Feel you relax against me,
Surely that must be a sign,
This is where you were meant to be.
I will always be here,
To kiss your hurt away,
I will always be near,
Just in case you need me.
Place your head upon my chest,
Your tiny hand around my finger,
Feel safe enough to rest,
I'll hold you here forever.
Close your eyes, my baby,
And let your dreams come now,
Let's dance upon the clouds maybe,
Anything is possible here.
Against my beating heart,
Where I can keep you safe from harm,
And hold you safely here.
Your skin against mine,
Feel you relax against me,
Surely that must be a sign,
This is where you were meant to be.
I will always be here,
To kiss your hurt away,
I will always be near,
Just in case you need me.
Place your head upon my chest,
Your tiny hand around my finger,
Feel safe enough to rest,
I'll hold you here forever.
Close your eyes, my baby,
And let your dreams come now,
Let's dance upon the clouds maybe,
Anything is possible here.
Saturday, 24 August 2013
Baking with Baby Bear
Baby Bear is a cake fiend.
I have no idea where he gets it from...
And since I've been off work and he's been at home with me instead of at nursery he has become increasingly hard to entertain. He has little interest in his toys and will stand by the front door pretty much from the moment he wakes up because he is so desperate to go out!
So, when him and SB were napping at the same time (a rarity in this house) I baked a batch of vanilla cupcakes, and made some icing for him to play with.
Mummy: Come on BB, it's time to wake up now angel.
BB: No. I'm sleeping. *rolls away from me*
M: BB, you've been asleep for ages, come downstairs with mummy.
BB: No.
M: Okay, well mummy has made cakes, so I guess I'd better go and eat them by myself.
BB: Cake? I'm coming too, mummy!
I have no idea where he gets it from...
And since I've been off work and he's been at home with me instead of at nursery he has become increasingly hard to entertain. He has little interest in his toys and will stand by the front door pretty much from the moment he wakes up because he is so desperate to go out!
So, when him and SB were napping at the same time (a rarity in this house) I baked a batch of vanilla cupcakes, and made some icing for him to play with.
Mummy: Come on BB, it's time to wake up now angel.
BB: No. I'm sleeping. *rolls away from me*
M: BB, you've been asleep for ages, come downstairs with mummy.
BB: No.
M: Okay, well mummy has made cakes, so I guess I'd better go and eat them by myself.
BB: Cake? I'm coming too, mummy!

I just used a basic vanilla cupcake recipe, nothing fancy and took me five minutes to whip up. The icing was just icing sugar and water, he took a bit of guidance showing him how to drizzle it onto the cakes and then showing him how to sprinkle the hundreds and thousands on top but he really enjoyed it! It kept him occupied for ages, and although it was messy he had lots of fun!
This is the finished product! I wasn't allowed to take a picture until he'd tasted one, and he approved. Muchly. He also really enjoyed giving daddy, nanny and pappy one too!
This is happy cake face. It's much nicer than bored whiny face.
Thinking of more new and exciting ideas to entertain my gorgeous boy!
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