So Christmas came and went in a rush of presents and E numbers.#
The kids were spoilt.
I ate too much.
There are even more toys in my tiny house.

And I am left feeling flat. There are no better words for it.
Or maybe one. Bleurgh.
And it isn't one too many quality streets that's making me feel this way. I wake up and I want to go back to bed. I don't, I get through my day in a blur of nappies, toys and baby sick. My children are played with, talked to, clean, fed, my house is immaculate, I'm getting dressed (which makes a change)...
And I still don't feel right.
*whispers*
I have a funny feeling it's a bit more than baby blues...

I cry. All the time. Not at films or TV, or when my toddler won't eat, or my baby won't sleep. But just randomly in the middle of the day. Or night. I don't want people around me, or touching me. I don't know how to fix it. I've suffered with depression in the past, but that was because my life was falling apart and I was in an unhappy relationship.

But I have two beautiful children (one is slightly insane but that's irrelevant), a wonderful partner who's trying his best to make me happy, I'm surrounded by friends and family.


WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!

I keep telling myself I'm tired. Hormonal. Having a bad day. Due on.

But there comes a point when I have to admit to myself it might be more than that. I have a doctor's appointment booked. I'm hoping they're going to tell me to buck up.