Bear cuddles make it all better

I'm having a bit of a crappy time at the minute.
I'm trying to roll with the punches but I'm finding it harder and harder to get up after every knock.
I was a silly mummy Bear and took myself off of my anti-depressants because I'm a stubborn arse and I don't like relying on them. And I thought I was coping. And now I find I'm getting overwhelmed. A lot. I thought I was okay, I really did, and now life is getting the better of me.

Even without all the rubbish stuff that's happened this week (I won't bore you with boring grown up stuff) I think when it gets to the point that normal daily life is getting on top of you and you can't get your thoughts in order because there's too much to think about and you cry because you feel like a failure, that maybe it's time to get help.

Don't get me wrong, my Bears are safe and happy. Mummy is a bit shouty but she feeds them, bathes them, plays with them, keeps them safe. But I panic when I look around and see that I haven't washed up for two days, or done a load of washing for five days (it's okay, the boys have lots of clothes), I need to pack the nursery bags and make lunches, and BB has decided he doesn't want to go to bed and my overtired baby can't fall asleep without being on and off my boob for hours and Daddy Bear isn't home and I haven't eaten since lunchtime yet alone thought about cooking mine and DB's tea, and I was up at 5.20 then worked a full day so I'M BLOODY EXHAUSTED AND JUST WANT TO CURL INTO A BALL AND CRY.

Yeah. That.

I think it's time to get help.

I have calmed down tonight. My mum has taken BB for the night, I've told work I'm not coming in to work at the moment (As I fear I may have a breakdown, given that I nipped in to get something today and cried in the elevator), and I spent an hour having lovely booby cuddles with SB. Tomorrow I shall take him to nursery and spend the day trying to work out where to go next.

I apologise for the rant... I figured this was the best way xxx