Potty training - the first edition

So we have begun potty training. BB has shown signs for a while, holding his wees, squatting when he was going and saying 'I've done a wet', using the potty occasionally. But I didn't have the time to give it a proper go whilst working full-time. My original plan was to try whilst I ahd a week off, but it was a week of visits to the aquarium, the fire station, harbour tours and going to visit my sister-in-law so by the weekend I'd given up and figured we'd just wait a little longer.

But on the Saturday, we had a rare day at home and so I left BB's nappy off and left the potty in sight. By the end of that day, we'd only had one accident, all other wees had gone in the potty without much prompting. So I took this as a promising sign, and again on the Sunday, left his nappy off. Again, he told me when he needed the toilet, and used the potty all day. So on the Monday, when he was back at nursery, I took him in pants with the nappies in the bag in case, expecting that he probably wouldn't be interested in using the potty at nursery.
He didn't! Nursery were really impressed and all week he used the potty or the toilet with one or two accidents a day!

He still is having the odd accident, usually if he is busy playing or eating but we have been able to go out for the day and he's happy to use the toilet when he needs to go, and he likes wearing pants. Even if it means that none of his shorts fit without a big cloth bum to hold them up...

The poo battle is a story for another time but for now, we have conquered the wees!

So Christmas came and went in a rush of presents and E numbers.#
The kids were spoilt.
I ate too much.
There are even more toys in my tiny house.

And I am left feeling flat. There are no better words for it.
Or maybe one. Bleurgh.
And it isn't one too many quality streets that's making me feel this way. I wake up and I want to go back to bed. I don't, I get through my day in a blur of nappies, toys and baby sick. My children are played with, talked to, clean, fed, my house is immaculate, I'm getting dressed (which makes a change)...
And I still don't feel right.
*whispers*
I have a funny feeling it's a bit more than baby blues...

I cry. All the time. Not at films or TV, or when my toddler won't eat, or my baby won't sleep. But just randomly in the middle of the day. Or night. I don't want people around me, or touching me. I don't know how to fix it. I've suffered with depression in the past, but that was because my life was falling apart and I was in an unhappy relationship.

But I have two beautiful children (one is slightly insane but that's irrelevant), a wonderful partner who's trying his best to make me happy, I'm surrounded by friends and family.


WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!

I keep telling myself I'm tired. Hormonal. Having a bad day. Due on.

But there comes a point when I have to admit to myself it might be more than that. I have a doctor's appointment booked. I'm hoping they're going to tell me to buck up.

7 weeks on...

Yes, it really has been 7 weeks already. 7 weeks of broken sleep, a teething cheeky toddler and snapping at Daddy Bear. 7 weeks of squishy newborn cuddles, first smiles and watching my boys bond.
I could tell you it's easy, that its a breeze, that life is perfect.

But I'd be lying.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change it for the world. When people ask me if I wish I'd waited longer before having another, the answer honestly is no. When Baby Bear wakes up in the morning, the first thing he wants is his brother. He runs into the living room, excited, and climbs on the sofa next to his brother with a huge smile on his face. Yes, I have to watch him because he does get overexcited and try to lay on him for a cuddle and has sat on him twice, but it's truly wonderful to see. Those are the moments I know I did the right thing.

Squishy Bear is a lovely baby. He's very placid, loves a cuddle and is quite happy to watch the lunatic that is my eldest son run around like a hurricane. I've chosen a more natural approach to parenting this time round and have discovered that apparently everybody gets a say in how you bring up your children.
'Cloth nappies are more trouble than their worth' - Really? Because both of my boys wear them, and it's pretty much just throwing them in the wash every other day.
'He's constantly attached to you' - If you can work out a better way of getting him to take a nap, be my guest. I can't spend ages settling him to sleep, I don't have the time. If I go into my bedroom and put him in the crib, BB comes running in and whispers 'shh, he's seeping. NUNIGHT!!!' Before pottering around my bedroom picking things up and generally just making lots of noise. I can't shut the door and leave a 19 month old unattended, and SB can't settle in the bouncy chair with the TV on and his brother making noise. So he sleeps in the sling. Big deal!
'Breastfeeding him will just make him a mummy's boy'  - have you seen my other son? He was breastfeed (not for as long as I'd have liked) and I have a hard time getting a glance in my direction, let alone a cuddle!
 'You'll never get him out of your bed if you don't do it now' - Rubbish. I'm pretty sure he won't be a teenager and still sleeping next to me. He's been in my bed since the day he was born and I love it. He slept all night in his crib this week and I really missed him but if he happily settles in there then I leave him but if he needs to be close to me I pop him in with me.

I can't wait to see what my family says when I get their amber necklaces.