Fluffaholics Anonymous

My name is Mummy Bear and I have a *slight* fluff addiction.
There is little that gives me more pleasure than a massive fluffy bottom.
I find myself stalking big bottomed babies at playgroup and wondering it they're wearing cloth.
I've actually had dreams about buying nappies. And woken up disappointed that I don't actually own them.

I'm not even monogamous to a brand, I'm a complete brand slut. Bumgenius, Tots Bots, Motherease, Onelife, Tiny Nippers, Alva, Cotton Bottoms, Blueberry, Bambooty, Rumparooz, Little Lambs... I don't even think that's an exhaustive list. And I still have a wishlist of brands I want to try! Gah!

Is it bad that part of me wants to go back to work so I can afford more? I haven't bought anymore since I've been on Statutory Maternity Pay. Actually that's a lie, I bought two more Bamboozle Stretchies. But they were preloved and I sold squishes Teenyfits for them. See? It's an addiction - I feel I have to justify buying.

Squishy Bear is full time fluffy bottomed. He doesn't wear fancy brands, it's generally Motherease Sandy's or prefolds in the day and Onelife Onesize at night. We don't get leaks very often (unless I haven't put the wrap on very well!) and my only issue has been clothes. He's a big boy anyway, 12lb 12oz at 7 weeks and pretty much at the end of 0-3 months clothes and therefore the clothes are pinching his nappies and wicking. My mother (who is not a cloth convert, she has a nasty habit of changing BB into a sposie as soon as he gets to her house) tried to put a pair of jeans over a Sandy and a motherease wrap and failed. So he pretty much lives in babygrows. Easy, comfy, and he's warm in the sling with a hoody and some booties on.

Baby Bear however wears sposies to bed at night. But we ran out the other day and I put him in a Tots Bots Bamboozle Stretch, two bamboo velour boosters and a flip insert with a Blueberry Coverall and a fleece sleepsuit. Watching him walk down the hallway like John Wayne was enough to make me fall off the loo laughing. He kept squatting to inspect his bottom and was quite befuddled at the size of it. Daddy Bear wasn't convinced at all. But it worked! The nappy was completely saturated but my fears of him waking up in a puddle of urine were unfounded. And the next night a similar combination worked again, but he's poorly and an unfortunately timed poo meant he woke up with a sore bum :(
I'll try again when its healed.

For now I'm just staying away from the preloved pages...

7 weeks on...

Yes, it really has been 7 weeks already. 7 weeks of broken sleep, a teething cheeky toddler and snapping at Daddy Bear. 7 weeks of squishy newborn cuddles, first smiles and watching my boys bond.
I could tell you it's easy, that its a breeze, that life is perfect.

But I'd be lying.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change it for the world. When people ask me if I wish I'd waited longer before having another, the answer honestly is no. When Baby Bear wakes up in the morning, the first thing he wants is his brother. He runs into the living room, excited, and climbs on the sofa next to his brother with a huge smile on his face. Yes, I have to watch him because he does get overexcited and try to lay on him for a cuddle and has sat on him twice, but it's truly wonderful to see. Those are the moments I know I did the right thing.

Squishy Bear is a lovely baby. He's very placid, loves a cuddle and is quite happy to watch the lunatic that is my eldest son run around like a hurricane. I've chosen a more natural approach to parenting this time round and have discovered that apparently everybody gets a say in how you bring up your children.
'Cloth nappies are more trouble than their worth' - Really? Because both of my boys wear them, and it's pretty much just throwing them in the wash every other day.
'He's constantly attached to you' - If you can work out a better way of getting him to take a nap, be my guest. I can't spend ages settling him to sleep, I don't have the time. If I go into my bedroom and put him in the crib, BB comes running in and whispers 'shh, he's seeping. NUNIGHT!!!' Before pottering around my bedroom picking things up and generally just making lots of noise. I can't shut the door and leave a 19 month old unattended, and SB can't settle in the bouncy chair with the TV on and his brother making noise. So he sleeps in the sling. Big deal!
'Breastfeeding him will just make him a mummy's boy'  - have you seen my other son? He was breastfeed (not for as long as I'd have liked) and I have a hard time getting a glance in my direction, let alone a cuddle!
 'You'll never get him out of your bed if you don't do it now' - Rubbish. I'm pretty sure he won't be a teenager and still sleeping next to me. He's been in my bed since the day he was born and I love it. He slept all night in his crib this week and I really missed him but if he happily settles in there then I leave him but if he needs to be close to me I pop him in with me.

I can't wait to see what my family says when I get their amber necklaces.

He's Here!

I did it!
Again!!
I survived the first week!!!

I am officially a mother of two under two.
Of two under the age of 18 months, actually.
God help me.

Yes, my second blue bundle arrived safe and sound at 39+5 on the 10th of September weighing in at 8lb 9oz, blue eyed and dark haired just like his brother. And how has his brother taken it?

Well, given the circumstances.

The first meeting:

'Baby Bear, look come and meet Squidgy Bear!'
'No.' He shook his head, and continued pushing his car around the living room.
Five minutes later.
'BB, look it's a baby!'
'Yes, baby.'
That was as much interest as he had, before he went to stay with my MIL for the night. The next meeting had a similar reaction, to be fair, and his interest didn't really grow until he was permanently home. Luckily, I have lots of lovely bear relatives who were keeping BB overnight and bringing him back home during the day to see us, but he's home 24/7 now and has worked out that Squidgy Bear is here to stay now.
Which is fine, he's actually fallen in love with him over the past two days, he likes to lay his head on top of him and say aww, and stroke and pat his head (it's meant to be loving but he does need reminding to be gentle...) and if I'm having a cuddle he pulls SB's arms because he wants him on his lap!
The only issue we have is if SB cries (which isn't all that often he's very content so far) BB will scream at the top of his lungs, pull at his ears and cry. He thinks I'm hurting him. And he will pinch me and pull me and cry 'Mum' until I show him what I'm doing and that I'm really not hurting his brother!

I can hear him shouting for me now, in fact so I shall go and get him up for the day,
Ciao for now!

Mama Bear of two
xxx

five weeks and couting...

35 weeks today! and waddling awkwardly around awkwardly after a 16 month old Baby Bear who is becoming increasingly challenging...

He can run... fast. He can screech at the top of his voice and does so when he wakes up, when he's tired, when I'm taking too long to sort his food, when I say no, etc etc.

But he is very cute. I woke yesterday morning (to screaming) and when I went into the room I received a beautiful beaming smile and the words, "Morning mummy. Biscuit?"

Yes. he strings words together, and is amazingly vocal. He can repeat most words (note to self, stop swearing) and uses a lot of words in context. That sentence came out as 'moooornin mummeee. Biskeet?' but its very obvious what he's saying most of the time, or at least what he's after. For instance, when he received said biscuit, and ran to me smiling cheekily. 'Guppatee? Dip-dip?'
which translates as 'you appear to have a cup of tea, can I dip my biscuit?' He is funny.

I'm starting to get really tired though, and I try my hardest not to snap at him. It's not his fault I'm pregnant. It's not his fault I have awful SPD and Daddy Bear works evenings so at bedtime I have no tolerance for him when he doesn't want to bath or go to bed, and that I can' take him to the park to play because I can't walk that far. I'm finally starting to accept help - if a member of my family offers to take him out for the day, I do say yes, so he gets a good day. Even if I feel bad about it...

On a brighter note, I love having a fluffy bummed little boy! I'm struggling with absorbancy issues at the minute, my Close Parent pop-ins are lasting 2.5 hours max, even with a bamboo booster, the Blueberry one-size pocket with a hemp insert was soaked and leaking through after 2 hours today and my massively boosted eBay cheapies aren't doing much better (so he looks like Beyonce but still not lasting very long...) I stripped them all with a dishwasher tablet and they're a bit better but I think I need more absorbent boosters. And more nappies...

I've ordered some Tots Bots Bamboozle Stretchies, some Little Lamb Bamboos, a Tots Bots easyfit, and Itti Bitti Tutto and some Blueberry wraps to give other nappies a go, hopefully I find something that works better for us.

Eagerly awaiting fluffy post!
xxx

It's Time to Get Fluffy...

So there are things I did with BB that I won't be doing this time round.
-Listening to other people's advice without thinking about what I wanted
-Moving him into his own room early
-Trying to put him down a lot
- Having constant visitors in the first few weeks
- Not accepting help
- Not doing what I wanted to do because other people said it wouldn't work
And it goes on....

My biggest regrets would be stopping breastfeeding too early and not cloth nappying.

I'm not going to put massive pressure on myself to breastfeed for a set amount of time, I just know I want to go for as long as we are both happy, however long that may be (despite DB's objections that they are 'his' boobies.... ) I'd love to breastfeed for a year+, but let's see how it goes!

And using cloth. I told everybody I wanted to use cloth when I was pregnant with BB. Had I done as I'd wanted and not listened to my mother/mother-in-law etc about how much hard work it was, I would be laughing. I'd have a full set of cloth nappies by now which I could use for Little Bear, and would have had a lot more disposable income for pretty ones!

So I'm slowly building up my stash, which includes so far
2 Newborn Bumgenius
1 Newborn Bambooty
1 Newborn Tiny Nipper
2 Size 1 Little Lamb microfibre
2 Small Motherease Sandys
3 Various small wraps
3 close-parent pop ins
1 blueberry one-size pocket
2 cheapy pockets
and a bundle of boosters

which sounds like a lot, but it isn't enough! Because I'm moving BB over to cloth as soon as I've got some more. I'm going to have a trial cloth day next week and if we get on with a particular brand, get some more.]

I must say, seeing all my fluff drying on the airer makes me excited! But is a dangerous addiction... I dream about nappies, spend most of my day shopping for nappies or talking about nappies or trying to convince DB we need two matching custom nappies for the boys! I can't wait until next payday - I NEED MORE FLUFF!!!!!!

Got my way in the end!

Just call me Hunchback...

My pelvis has given up the ghost.
It literally has turned around, and said 'you know what? you were the one who fell pregnant again despite the issues we had last pregnancy, and I'm fed up with being the only one working in this relationship.'
And I'm the one left to pick up the pieces. Or not, as the case may be.

I have constant, unrelenting pain in the bottom of my back, whether I'm sitting, standing or lying down. 95% of the time this pain also travels down my right leg every few seconds if there's any weight on my leg, meaning I walk with a limp and have to sit on one ass cheek. If I've been sitting down for a while and have to get up to walk, I look like a 90 year old as I can't fully straighten up and the limp is even worse.
I also have intermittant searing pain through my pubic bone which feels like someone is poking a hot needle through it. The more I walk, the worse the limp gets. If I go to baby group in the mornings, my limp is not too bad. If I also need to run errands in the afternoon, by the time it's that time when BB needs putting to bed, I look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and I can't lift him without being in agony.

Now I have good days. Days when I can get everything done and at nighttime I am still mobile enough and in a reasonable amount of pain. By they are becoming few and far between.
My ten and a half hour shifts, of which I have to walk a lot and be on my feet, are becoming impossible. Three times I've had to leave early because the pain gets so intense I want to vomit, or I simply can't move. I went to my GP, who referred me for physio but I need him to sign me onto light duties and he won't. He's saying I need to keep active or it will get worse.
Er, yeah. I've got a fourteen month old too? He keeps me active enough.
So I go to my manager who offers four short shifts rather than three long ones. I can't do that because of childcare.
So she offers for me not to do late shifts. You think I want to work until 10pm? Those I also do because of childcare.
I tell her I need to do a job where I'm not on my feet all day...

And she tells me I need a letter from my GP.

Kill me now...

13 Months on....

Baby Bear is growing up. *Cue welling eyes and wobbly voice*

I say this watching him climb onto my sofa, throw off alll off the pillows into a pile on the floor, stand up... and catapult himself onto the pillows before giggling for about ten minutes. He walks, runs, chatters endlessly and is very clear about what he wants.
For example....

The other morning I am roused from my bed by a chant of 'mum? mama? mama?' I open the door to his bedroom and am greeting with a great beaming smile to the chorus of 'peepo!' So he puts his arms up to be lifted out of the cot, and I stand him in the floor. He looks around for a second, before pointed to a stray dummy on the floor. 'doo-doo?' I pass it to him and he takes it happily, holding it in one hand. 'teddy?' teddy is also passed over. 'ta.' He grins, before walking off into the living room.

Oh dear. I think I have a bossy one.

He's just an absolute riot to watch! If he falls (which he does regularly) providing he hasn't hurt himself, it is followed by a shout of 'up!' If you ask if he is hungry, he shouts yes! before leading you to the kitchen. he also lifts my top, strokes my growing belly and says 'ahh, baby'.

However...
His tastes change daily. One day he will eat grapes, the next they are sucked quickly before throwing them on the floor. He loses interest in toast at least once a week. He refuses any sort of dried fruit (unless yoghurt or chocolate coated) he will eat weetabix but not porridge unless there is fruit and honey in it. And he very clearly tells me the word 'no' if he doesn't want to eat it.

Telling him no can result in meltdowns of fake crying, laying on the floor or stamping his feet. Pulling him away from something dangerous is like telling him the worold is ending. And taking the piece of fluffy toast out of his mouth that he'd found behind the highchair is like slapping him around the face.
He does know if he's eating somethign he shouldn't, as if i hold out my hand he will spit it out. Also, if he picks up somethign naughty, like my phone or the stones out of my fake fireplace, he runs over giggling to give them to me.

I look forward to watching him grow!
xxx