38+4

I'm going to go overdue, aren't I?

It doesn't matter how much sex I have, how much walking I do, how long I bounce on that frigging gym ball, I still haven't had this baby. I've had some ridiculously strong Braxton Hicks, two episodes of pink discharge, one brown (I don't even care about too much information right now, dignity has disappeared), pains in my back, about every other pre labour sign you could imagine, and yet I'm still very pregnant.

I almost punched the woman who told me I must have made such a nice home for my baby he or she just wants to stay in there.
Piss off.

Also unwanted, the amount of texts, phonecalls and facebook messages I get asking me if I have had my baby yet.

Hormonal responses have included;
*Yes, this belly is just wind.
*Yes, I just thought I wouldn't tell anybody.
*Does it look like I've had my baby?
*Piss off.

I've been on google for hours looking at natural induction methods, tried most of them, SOOOO not working for me.

Nipple stimulation - feels horrible, makes my boobs really sensitive and irritates me.
Walking - Hurts! My pelvis feels like it's splitting in half and I get stabbing pains in my cervix from the baby pressing down. I also got told off by my midwife as walking aggravates my SPD.
Going up and down stairs - Again is painful, am also way to unfit and couldn't breathe after two flights.
Bouncing on my gym ball - Bouncing, rocking, swaying, laying over - I'm sick of the sight of the bloody thing, I spend hours on it every day as it's the only thing I'm comfortable on. However, baby is right down in my pelvis which is a plus.
Pineapple - just tried this one, ate an entire pineapple. All it did was give me a really sore tongue and heartburn. Won't be giving that one another go!
Sex - the only fun one to try!! Copious amounts of it will put both of you in a better mood, I highly recommend it. It brings us closer together at a time when being close to me is dangerous, and is bloody hilarious as my enormous belly makes it hard to get within two feet of each other. Also has set of some really strong contractions on a few occasions but they always die off :(

I shall go back to researching - I'm really not keen on taking anything such as Evening Primrose Oil or Castor Oil as have heard mixed reviews. As keen as I am to get this little one out I'm really not wanting to take anything to do so. I think the methods I've tried have been natural and don't want to push it too far.

On a lighter note - Daddy Bear finally got fed up with the jungle I've been growing down below. I attempted it a few weeks ago, and as I can't get anywhere near it I just ended up with a patchy combover job :s. But last night when I finally let him do it for me, after running away from him for about fifteen minutes, I lay in a very unattactive position and almost wet myself laughing the entire time he was down there. Although it looks much better, it will never happen again.

So, I'm going to carrying on trying sex, walking (short distances), and bouncing on my gym ball.
Hopefully, Baby Bear joins us soon, or nobody I know will ever speak to me (being a hormonal cow) again.

Impatiently awaiting the arrival of our Baby Bear
xxx