This is only in my experience - I am a first-time mummy but I got through those early days of non-stop feeding, changing and cuddles. Looking back, there's a lot of things I wish I'd tried earlier!
Firstly, accept help! You'll probably get every family member, friend and random stranger offering tips and help. If they offer to cook you dinner, eat it. I rarely got time to cook in the early days, and my mother in law filling my freezer with soups and stews was a godsend. If somebody says they'll help with the housework - let them! I always said no, I was coping... I wasn't. My house was a tip for months. If you do insist on doing it yourself, invest in a sling! In fact, get a sling anyway. If you've got a colicky or refluxy baby, a sling is perfect for keeping them close and letting them sleep whilst you can get on. If your mum or other half says 'do you want me to come round and sit with the baby whilst you sleep' DEAR GOD SAY YES! You're not being a bad mother by accepting help, or not being with your newborn every second, a bit of sleep, even half an hour, will make the rest of the day easier.
Don't beat yourself up! If you choose not to breastfeed, it's your choice. Don't let anybody, including yourself, make you feel bad for it. If you can't breastfeed, some people can't, or don't like it, or don't get on with it. It doesn't make you a bad mum. You love your baby, no matter what way you choose to feed. I gave Lucas a dummy after a week. I was so dead certain I would never give a dummy but he was comfort sucking and I wasn't getting any sleep, it saved my sanity. We all have these set ideas in our head, but try to just go with the flow. For weeks, I really felt guilty for stopping breastfeeding, but I just forced myself to think 'happy mummy, happy baby'.
I know everybody says it... BUT SLEEP WHEN BABY SLEEPS! Nobody cares if you haven't hoovered, or there's a bit of washing up. It can wait. You could have a long old night ahead of you, and when you're up for what seems the fiftieth time that night, you'll wish you'd napped earlier.
Eat well. Even if you're not breastfeeding. You've just given birth, your body is recovering from pregnancy, and you need the energy.
Establish visiting times. I wish I'd done this. I had constant visitors for weeks and it's exhausting. If you want your first day with your baby to be just you, your partner and your baby, tell everybody that. Tell them to ring or text before they come, and you can say no if your tired! Most people understand!
If your partner isn't helping enough, sit them down and tell them. Many nights I've woken to the crying baby, gotten up to change, feed and rock baby back to sleep and heard Daddy Bear snoring away happily, and wanted to punch him. The whole of the next day I'd be furious at him, not speak to him, and our relationship suffered. Talking really does help.
And lastly (for now), coping with crying... Not all people agree with me, I'm not pushing my opinions on anybody. But if you've fed, changed, cuddled, sang, rocked, wished and prayed and baby won't settle (providing he's not ill), and you find yourself getting aggravated (I promise you it happens to everybody) put the baby down in his cot, shut the door, and sit in another room for a few minutes. Have a cuppa, or whatever you need, and go back in when your calm. All you'll do if you carry on when your frustrated, is frustrate baby.
Anyway, that's all for now.
I promise it gets easier
xxx
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