Breastfeeding at work...

I went back to work when Jacob was 6 months with plans of feeding him expressed breast milk during the day and breastfeeding as normal at home. Except the weeks coming up to my return were filled up with moving house instead of pumping milk and filling up my freezer so I was completely unprepared!

Then I started my new job, and turned into a shy five year old when I met my new (male) manager and couldn't find the courage to ask for the facilities to pump at work. I know, it's really stupid.
So I began combination feeding.

Squish has god knows how many feeds in the mornings and evenings when I'm at home with him and three 4oz bottles of formula at nursery. Not that he even finishes them, he has about 10 oz max all day! Plus his normal meals and water.

This worked fine. Until they announced a rolling rota. And every 12 weeks I have to work 12-8pm. This messes with my pattern as I can't feed when I get home as DB has already picked the boys up and put them to bed! Add into that the fact that SB chose this week of all weeks to sleep through the night, and you have two very sore, very swollen boobies and one growly Mummy Bear.

So I tiptoed into my manager's office, and took a deep breath...

And told him I was struggling with the new shifts, explained that I was still breastfeeding and having a few issues with it, and that I knew that I had rights but I wanted a solution that worked for everybody.

He was quiet for a few moments and looked a bit embarrassed, but just as I was about to flee, leaving a trail of breastmilk behind me... He said he didn't see why as my son was at the onsite nursery I couldn't go and feed him in the evenings, or have the time to pump if I needed it.


YAYYYYY!!!
Score for mummy. Extra milky cuddles with the babe AND no sore boobies/waking up drowning in puddles of my own breastmilk.

So, my message to you lovelies will be - don't be afraid to ask! You do have rights ( Continuing to breastfeed on return to work - Maternity Action ), it might not be the solution you wanted (really I would love to not do late shifts at all!) but do ask, don't suffer in silence like I did. I'm just glad my breastfeeding journey has overcome another hurdle and I can continue.

xxx

Let's talk about sex, baby!

Now I adore my boys, I wouldn't swap them or change them for the world. (unless we were talking about sleep. I would definitely make them sleep more if I could.) I love them, bogeys, willies, snails, slugs and all.
I will love playing trucks and trains.
I will love building elaborate toys.
I will love building dens.
I will kiss many grazed knees, bumped heads, and twisted ankles from rough play.
I will clean up dirty hands and muddy shoes.
I will tend to hearts broken by mean girls.
I will weather through obsessions with their willies (and accept that this is one phase that will never die!)

I have a bond with my sons that is unbreakable, unchanging, and forever. Their tiny hands have made the biggest imprints on my heart.

And yet, when I found out my sister-in-law is expecting a girl I felt a knot in my stomach. I felt the unspeakable nausea from knowing a secret we don't speak about as mothers.

I'd love a little girl.

If given the option to swap my boys for girls, I'd say no in a heartbeat. I've always wanted boys. I love picking out their clothes and playing cars and having mummy cuddles.

So why, when I found out she was pregnant did I wish so hard it was a boy? And why was I so disappointed it was a girl?

I think I've had to come to terms with feelings I didn't realize were there. I don't want any more children, SB was my last Bear. I think it's knowing that I won't ever have a girl that makes me a little sad.
But nowhere near as sad as not having any more babies. As SB is beginning to crawl, and cruise, and grow, it tugs at my heart that this baby phase will only last a little longer. That soon he will push away my arms when I want a cuddle. That I'll never again feel that rush of emotion when my new baby is first in my arms.

Feeling the overwhelming urge to wake my sleeping babies for cuddles!!
xxx